knowing when to quit

I tend to be a very analytical person at any given crossroads. I will pull up a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle, and weigh the pros and cons of everything. Usually just doing that works, and an obvious winner appears. But what happens when there isn't an obvious answer? What if the outcome, presumably, is net-neutral?

I'm also not an easy quitter. I have a track record of doing something for much longer than I should've, just because I wanted to explore every single outcome that was possible. We are also conditioned to believe quitting is failure — some more than others. So for some of us, stopping something in our lives and pivoting is hardly an easy task, and is usually only done when it is the obvious next step. But in a lot of situations in our lives, it is not that obvious. Think of deciding whether to shut down a struggling business or not, staying in an "okay" job vs. pursuing your dreams, staying in your hometown vs. moving somewhere new. These are all big changes in your life that require giving up one for the other, each with their own set of pros and cons that make it that much more difficult to take that step. So how do you know?

Well, I think we can start by discussing the benefits of both ends of the spectrum — persevering and quitting.

Persevering¶

This is the easy one to justify. Growth is achieved by overcoming hurdles that, more often than not, you initially think you can't get through. Quitting at every one of those hurdles prevents that growth from happening and makes you stagnant, which is an easy trap to fall into if you're used to being comfortable. Besides, persevering eliminates the possibility of the "what if," so you don't look back in regret, or let your imagination fool you about the possible outcomes. Lastly, it builds resilience, one that makes it easier for you to overcome future obstacles.

Quitting¶

The big attraction of quitting, for me, is the idea of closing one door to open another. You can only do so much at once, and regardless of how much you think you can do in parallel, you have limited time & mental capacity. Eventually you need to sacrifice certain things to leave room for the rest to truly flourish, rather than be half-assed in the background. Quitting more than once is a great way to normalize failure as small-scale & necessary, rather than the end-all-be-all verdict on your life. The more you quit, the less you are fazed by the possibility of having to quit eventually, no matter how much time & effort you've put into something. And finally, I believe quitting also builds resilience, but a different kind from the one achieved through perseverance. It builds resilience for pivoting when needed, which allows you to grow in a new aspect of your life.

Whenever I find myself in this specific dilemma, I tend to ask myself some questions, like a sort of questionnaire I can use to reflect on actual, tangible points to make for or against the decision, so I feel more confident pursuing it.

• Am I persevering because there's real potential, or out of ego/fear of failure?
• Is this situation currently challenging me to grow, or is it stagnant & comfortable?
• How much damage is it doing, and what's the realistic chance it improves?
• Have I truly given it enough time/thought before deciding?
• Is there something more fulfilling I can pursue instead?

It's not a linear process, and depending on the size of the change, it can take months & years of thought. It may be an uncomfortable feeling to question where you are and decide to change it, but the process of thinking it through is an eye-opening one for sure, regardless of whether you end up pivoting or not. So yeah, maybe question some things in your life that have been there for a while and see if you can replace them with something more fulfilling in the long run — you never know what benefits are waiting for you on the other side.